All Hail Bereznoff
by ice illuser
Summary: Chaos is Bereznoff's lot in life.


Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club is the genius work of Bisco Hatori-san, not mine.

A/N: I came up with the idea to this one-shot during the 4th of July, when my friend and I were watching episodes of Ouran. Bereznoff deserves more love, so I might as well write about him.

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Bereznoff was essentially happy with his strange, chaotic life. True, there were some bad moments such as the time the Host Club king, Suoh Tamaki had _stepped _on him (the total atrocity of it!) but more about that later.

He had a great owner, Nekozawa Umehito, who had made him from scratch. His very first memory had been the blond boy (back then Umehito hadn't picked up the habit of wearing a black wig) smiling at him.

"Hello Bereznoff," he had said patting the puppet's head, "I'm Nekozawa Umehito. The light burns me, so I don't go out very often…but that's alright! You'll keep me company now, and anyway, the light of a single candle or darkness itself is much better for the soul!"

"As a cursed doll, Bereznoff, you must know about curses!" cackling a bit, Umehito had then proceeded to show Bereznoff all the curses he had collected. It was then that Bereznoff decided he would decidedly like his owner. Of course, the fact that the Nekozawa family revered cats also helped in his opinion.

And so in the dark house he stayed, learning all the curses with Umehito, and becoming more and more powerful with each passing day. However, eventually a down side arrived. Kirimi was born, but instead of being like Umehito, she was terrified of the dark and cats. (Bereznoff would have wondered if Kirimi had been switched at birth with the real Nekozawa daughter, if she didn't have the blond hair and blue eyes) Given those two phobias, she was completely terrified of Umehito, who had by then learned that wearing a black wig and long black robes would keep most of the light out. Instead, Kirimi would always stare at the portrait of Umehito without the wig and robes, and was completely convinced that her prince like brother was somewhere else. Umehito was of course devastated, and spent each day praying to his shrine that Kirimi may one day love the darkness. Personally, Bereznoff was a bit jealous of Kirimi, but for Umehito's sake, Bereznoff also prayed.

Their prayers had finally been answered when the harebrained scheme of the Host Club and Hoshakuji Renge had somehow succeeded in Kirimi overcoming her fear of at the very least, her slightly scary looking older brother. (How had those idiots succeeded where all their prayers and black magic had failed!)

Speaking of the Host Club however, Bereznoff might as well give his opinion that they were the main source of chaos in his life.

First of all there was the aforementioned Suoh Tamaki. After he had _stepped _on him, Bereznoff had happily realized that he would not even have to curse Tamaki. The Host Club king was idiotic (or was it just narcism? Bereznoff could not decided on Tamaki's personality) enough to believe that every bad thing that happened to him that day was Umehito's fault. While Bereznoff admitted he _might _have had something to do with Tamaki taking the Greek final by accident, he was obviously not responsible for anything else. In all fair terms, Bereznoff had finally decided that Suoh Tamaki was a narcissist idiot.

As for the rest of the Host Club, they were definitely a varied bunch. The vice president (or shadow king), Ohtori Kyouya took every single opportunity to turn an event to his advantage, constantly scribbled in that notebook, and was (almost) always amused by the chaos caused by the rest of the members. He was a bit of an enigma, but Bereznoff didn't really want to get involved in any way with him.

The Hitachiin twins were perhaps as or even _more_ annoying than Tamaki. True, they had provided a bit of business for the Black Magic club when they had been fighting, but using a version of Bereznoff himself as part of a prank was totally unforgivable!

Haninozuka Mitsukuni (Hunny) and Morinozuka Takashi (Mori) were seriously the weirdest pair Bereznoff had ever seen. Hunny was a third year, but bounced around like an elementary scholar. Still, rumor held that Hunny could be a demon from hell when woken up. Mori was Hunny's cousin, almost never said anything, and always took care of Hunny. The two of them were just…strange. There was really no other word Bereznoff could pick.

The newest member of the Host Club was Fujioka Haruhi, was extremely blunt, and didn't completely seem to fit into the chaotic weave of the club. Nevertheless, it seemed most of the chaos revolved around him, since Tamaki had really been taken by this guy. Or was he a guy? There were a few things that didn't add up in Bereznoff's opinion, like when the physical examinations had happened. Why did he/she get a private examination? Ouran was a rich school, but most of the physical examinations still did happen in public, with the Host Club doing advertising around that time.

Then there was the Host Club's otaku fangirl, Hoshakuji Renge. Just _thinking _about her made Bereznoff's head hurt. Still, she did help with Kirimi (in a really weird way, and he swore that Umehito could have _died _from that training with the Evil Beam) so he supposed that he had to be grateful and least.

So his life was filled with chaos basically, but for some reason he couldn't feel too sorry about it. After all, without it, life would frankly be just a bit boring. (Although, he could still do without the otaku fangirl part.)

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A/N: …alright, that wasn't that good, and it was really short, but please review! I can't get a hold of the manga so easily, so most of this fic is based off of the anime.


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